Nowadays the decision to stay home vs. go to work is more complex than it seems. In today’s society that empowers women to work side by side with men in the workforce and be breadwinners, there is still a prejudice in wanting this. When I became pregnant with my son, both my husband (at the time) and I were in a common agreement that I would work. We actually never even talked about me staying home.
From time to time, I would entertain the idea of being a SAHM, but was never fully swayed on the idea. My family, friends, and in-laws were all happy and respectful of my choice to stay at home. Once my 2nd trimester hit, people (mostly co-workers) started questioning what was to happen after baby. At this point, there wasn’t a negative reception towards my choice.
As my pregnancy progressed, the amount of questions increased and the negative comments started. It wasn’t too bad at this point… The occasional female would end the conversation with “I’m sure you will change your mind after you have the baby”, “You’ll do what is best for the baby at the time”, and my personal favorite “That’s cute, how femme of you”.
This was a great buffer for the interesting (read: mean) comments, questions, and assumptions I would get post baby. There is definitely a huge divide between stay at home moms and working moms. It’s unfortunate, but I have been in several conversations with other moms and when I mention that I work, the whole dynamic changes. What once started as a friendly, happy conversation, has ended in a touch a judgment and a knowing look exchanged by the SAHM and SAHM’s friend. It would be unfair for me to look down on SAHMs, so why look down on me?
The bottom line is everyone is different. Everyone has a different way of parenting, different views on how children should be raised, and how much you value your career. Us women should empower each other and not exclude each other over such a silly minute detail.
Below is an excerpt from a post by a fellow working mom with some very valid points: